Daily Show Blue

I just saw this from Jon Stewart, when the Daily Show returned after 911. It made me cry.

Miss Litter Wallpaper!

Okay, are you ready? Big announcement: Miss Litter and Dig Litter wallpapers! Yes that's right! Over the week, my human was away a lot - enough for me to take online photoshop training with Lynda.com. (Lynda is cool. Big plug.)

So I put together some fun desktops. I admit that I designed Cooper's wallpapers... but HE made up his own slogans. So blame him for their lack of taste.

Go back through the rest of our sites, and you'll see I swapped out many of the old pictures for new wallpapers. Every one is unique and hand crafted and totally free. Enjoy.

Kennedy & Coffee

Life is so unfair. I live in a prison where I can only smell coffee and only imagine Kennedy performing live.

Perre left for Urth Caffé just now. And what do I do but sit and wait? Sit and wait, while he runs around like he enjoys life. Maddening. I've never even been to Urth. The farthest I get out is to see the vets and although that sounds like a great punk band, "The Vets" is nothing but a steel table in a temporary holding cell for those of us least able to defend ourselves. Geneva Convention need not apply. Masked humans probe and prod, but they never get any information out of me. They don't even ask. I don't see the point. Anyway, back to my main complaint:

The kicker? Tonight, my human's getting a bunch of friends together to see Kennedy perform live. LIVE. I LOVE KENNEDY, and I never get to see him. Unfair.

You Mean The Musical Kind Of iPod?

Oh, the OTHER kind of iPod - the music kind. Well, that's even easier to explain. The iPod is the first song people learn on the piano - it's a rudimentary waltz played with two fingers that start together and get further and further apart. Once the song wears on the nerves, it repeats. It's more popular than you'd expect, given how annoying it is.

I suppose people are attracted to the iPod's simplicity and how easy it is to learn.

Another easy-to-learn musical device is the Flea Waltz. But it's like a bad song you can't shake - singing in your ears all day. No amount of scratching can rid you of it.

Missive iPod

Apparently, a few readers think I don't know an iPod from a ball of yarn (see my comment some weeks ago).

Wikipedia explains it well. For those of you still in the dark ages, an iPod is a set of two thin sticks that cosmopolitan humans use as a tool for porting raw fish from a plate to their mouths. It's less efficient than their fingers, but you can't put the brakes on a popular trend.

Pirate Bays Of The Apartment

I'll be quick today because I know you're all going to see Johnny Depp tonight. And I'm sure you can't think of anything else. I wish they let us in theatres. I guess I'll have to wait until it's on DVD. Sigh... like always.

Cooper made up the dumbest word. Catninja. Which is short for Cat-Ninja. He's been going on about it nonstop for a half hour. It should be Cninja but that sounds too much like Kninja, the word for K-9-Ninja. Anyone could have thought of Catninja. It's just the two words joined. It doesn't even roll off the tongue easily. He's so smug right now I could just rub his nose in it if he understood anything I said.

If only.

No Middle Earth?

My three fans wrote in over the weekend to ask if I am a pirate or a ninja?

Survey says: a pirate, because a ninja knows if she's a ninja, and if I don't know then I'm certainly not a ninja. But isn't that strange: if you're not one, you must be the other? There must be more to the political arena than ninjas and pirates. True, I tend to favour universal healthcare and wild, youthful promiscuity, but I'm also conservative with spending and think promiscuity should be done in the privacy of your homes and not flaunted about in the streets like it's commonplace.

True, "the streets" are a bit unfamiliar to me, but my fantasy life more than compensates.

But to the point: Pirate vs Ninja? Isn't that a little too simple? Isn't there a middle ground between these two extremes? Like Wisconsin or Minnesota?

Hiyah!

I found the funniest thing ever: Ask A Ninja! This must be what they call porn because the ninja videos are all over my human's computer.

I couldn't take my eyes off it. He's so NINJA! I watched every podcast this morning. I wonder if he has a name?

I'm sure he will hunt me down and think up some macabre method for killing this small feline just for saying what I'm about to... but... his first podcast was really reaching. Lucky I went backward and didn't get to that one until the end.

The ninja has a sophisticated sense of humor for a mass murderer. I wonder if he'd take that as a compliment? Maybe that comment will save my small bones.

Lazy Hands

I like being a pet. At first I grew impatient at being confined. Eating the same food, coming when called, living between the same four... five, six, let's see... 14, 15 ... then around here... 26, 27, 28! ...living between the same 28 walls.

You see? Boring. But right there, it's the little things: I've never counted the walls. And some of them I got to count twice because they had two sides to them. Never thought about that before. And there you go: perfect material to blog about.

One benefit to being a pet is that humans never seem to grow tired of lazily running their hands through my fur. I take it that human relationships must be nice that way too.

iPod Ubiquity

Truth be told, I'm Cooper's ghost writer. He has his own thoughts and everything, but he gets frustrated easily, especially with computers.

I love my iPod.

I don't know why I said that. My human always says it.

The Mystery Mooing Puppy

I only have a couple of minutes before he'll be back. I'm having a hard time getting to the computer. My human works out on Monday and Wednesday and sometimes Friday. But this week he's been really irregular. He's spending ALL his time in front of the computer, and I keep seeing a dog making weird sounds.

I don't understand what it's about, but all the signs point to him leaving me for a younger puppy.

Meet Cooper - Brother From Another Litter

If you haven't met Cooper yet, he's doing his thing over here: Dig Litter (Cooper's Blog).

Warning: don't stay long or Cooper will get a big head. He reads his stats daily. Or actually, he has ME read his stats to him. Sometimes when I'm feeling generous and he hasn't been bullying me, I pad on a few extra visitors so I can see him do his stupid guy dance. He doesn't know how funny he is.

Cat Training A Flea Circus

If I weren't a proper girl, I'd shout a thousand expletives! My human noticed I changed his calendar and fixed it! I got the flea drops this morning. Arrrgh! I don't know what's worse, the infernal itching or that poisonous tonic on my neck?

I appealed to him in every way I knew. I pleaded: "Look human, I know we don't always see eye-to-eye. But this might be the one place where we can come to an understanding. You see, I'm training a flea circus. No really. Didn't you hear me? No please, you know how much I hate flea drops."

Flee Flea Drops

The only time I can post is on certain mornings when everyone is gone and the human leaves his computer on (to download Jon Stewart). The internet is crazy slow right now.

I noticed in the human's calendar it says we're supposed to get flea drops on Wednesday. I wonder will he'll notice if I drag that over to next week? There we go. That'll give us a few extra days.

Who Is Miss Litter?

Hi I'm Moxie!

Welcome to my corner of the apartment.

Everything I write at misslitter I have to make up because my life is boring: Capital-B: Boring. I eat. I sleep. I lick myself. That's exciting (not). I never shower. The most exciting thing in my life is after it rains, sometimes I notice a trail of ants walking up the bathroom wall. Mesmerizing. Boring too.

Dust Buster (my first post)

When I think about the state of the house, the fur balls under the desk and lint near the back of the stove, I sometimes wish I wasn't scared of the sound of the dust buster. Because when it's off, and at a safe distance, it seems like the perfect size vacuum for me.