Missive iPod

Apparently, a few readers think I don't know an iPod from a ball of yarn (see my comment some weeks ago).

Wikipedia explains it well. For those of you still in the dark ages, an iPod is a set of two thin sticks that cosmopolitan humans use as a tool for porting raw fish from a plate to their mouths. It's less efficient than their fingers, but you can't put the brakes on a popular trend.

Pirate Bays Of The Apartment

I'll be quick today because I know you're all going to see Johnny Depp tonight. And I'm sure you can't think of anything else. I wish they let us in theatres. I guess I'll have to wait until it's on DVD. Sigh... like always.

Cooper made up the dumbest word. Catninja. Which is short for Cat-Ninja. He's been going on about it nonstop for a half hour. It should be Cninja but that sounds too much like Kninja, the word for K-9-Ninja. Anyone could have thought of Catninja. It's just the two words joined. It doesn't even roll off the tongue easily. He's so smug right now I could just rub his nose in it if he understood anything I said.

If only.

No Middle Earth?

My three fans wrote in over the weekend to ask if I am a pirate or a ninja?

Survey says: a pirate, because a ninja knows if she's a ninja, and if I don't know then I'm certainly not a ninja. But isn't that strange: if you're not one, you must be the other? There must be more to the political arena than ninjas and pirates. True, I tend to favour universal healthcare and wild, youthful promiscuity, but I'm also conservative with spending and think promiscuity should be done in the privacy of your homes and not flaunted about in the streets like it's commonplace.

True, "the streets" are a bit unfamiliar to me, but my fantasy life more than compensates.

But to the point: Pirate vs Ninja? Isn't that a little too simple? Isn't there a middle ground between these two extremes? Like Wisconsin or Minnesota?

Hiyah!

I found the funniest thing ever: Ask A Ninja! This must be what they call porn because the ninja videos are all over my human's computer.

I couldn't take my eyes off it. He's so NINJA! I watched every podcast this morning. I wonder if he has a name?

I'm sure he will hunt me down and think up some macabre method for killing this small feline just for saying what I'm about to... but... his first podcast was really reaching. Lucky I went backward and didn't get to that one until the end.

The ninja has a sophisticated sense of humor for a mass murderer. I wonder if he'd take that as a compliment? Maybe that comment will save my small bones.

Lazy Hands

I like being a pet. At first I grew impatient at being confined. Eating the same food, coming when called, living between the same four... five, six, let's see... 14, 15 ... then around here... 26, 27, 28! ...living between the same 28 walls.

You see? Boring. But right there, it's the little things: I've never counted the walls. And some of them I got to count twice because they had two sides to them. Never thought about that before. And there you go: perfect material to blog about.

One benefit to being a pet is that humans never seem to grow tired of lazily running their hands through my fur. I take it that human relationships must be nice that way too.

iPod Ubiquity

Truth be told, I'm Cooper's ghost writer. He has his own thoughts and everything, but he gets frustrated easily, especially with computers.

I love my iPod.

I don't know why I said that. My human always says it.

The Mystery Mooing Puppy

I only have a couple of minutes before he'll be back. I'm having a hard time getting to the computer. My human works out on Monday and Wednesday and sometimes Friday. But this week he's been really irregular. He's spending ALL his time in front of the computer, and I keep seeing a dog making weird sounds.

I don't understand what it's about, but all the signs point to him leaving me for a younger puppy.

Meet Cooper - Brother From Another Litter

If you haven't met Cooper yet, he's doing his thing over here: Dig Litter (Cooper's Blog).

Warning: don't stay long or Cooper will get a big head. He reads his stats daily. Or actually, he has ME read his stats to him. Sometimes when I'm feeling generous and he hasn't been bullying me, I pad on a few extra visitors so I can see him do his stupid guy dance. He doesn't know how funny he is.